Date Time means Time for Your Date
Why call it a date when you force your significant other to spend time for things he or she doesn't enjoy? Will you call it a date when you were feeling bad, feeling bored and unhappy?
It's been a while since we have a date. After having our dear daughter, my husband would love to take her along, wherever we go. There were times when we spent times without our daughter, yet we rarely intentionally set some time aside for dating. So, that morning, after sending our daughter to my mom's house and heading to work, when he asked if I have any plan for lunch and offer me to go to the cinema, I said "yes".
What comes to your mind when you heard "dating"? Maybe watching movies that both of you like, having meals together, sharing food, or just go shopping together. Maybe it was the time when you look at the person sitting in front of you in his or her eyes, and sharing stories. Or sometimes without any words, just in other special non-verbal ways. Dating mean you spend certain amount of time with your significant other, doing things together.
But that was not our kind of dating.
After almost two hours of that action movie, he asked me to accompany him to the department store, because he needs to buy some shirts. And no, I was not choosing any shirts for him. He was walking around, trying some shirts, choosing another. I was sitting in a bench, answering to some working chat, while giving my opinion to his choice once in a while. After some time, I choose to sit at a coffee shop, while dear husband stayed in that department store, still in a mission to search for shirts.
I was enjoying my coffee, reading some articles for my upcoming projects, and just enjoying being alone. But in my heart, I was asking myself,
“Am i really on a date right now?”
A date where I let my significant other doing his own thing while I do mine? Is this a real date?
Sipping my coffee while search for an answer, I found another questions.
“Why call it a date when you force your significant other to spend time for things he or she doesn't enjoy? Will you call it a date when you were feeling bad, feeling bored and unhappy?”
A date is not a time when the other party had to follow and fulfill your desire and yours only. A date supposed to be a time to know each other in a better and deeper way.
Sometimes you need to give some space, letting him or her to do things that he or she likes, even if you feel not liking it. A date means spending time together, but also giving time for him or her to enjoy. Sometimes you need to step back in order to get back together.
I was enjoying my coffee and reading time, just an hour long, while he did his own things. I step back so that I won't barge him with disappointment of waiting too long, while he step back by not forcing me to follow him everywhere. And after an hour long of giving time for my date to enjoy himself, I found a happy husband.
Sometimes dating doesn't mean walking side by side all the time, not letting your significant other get away by himself or herself. Sometimes dating means giving your date a special time to enjoy himself or herself. Giving space to get ready for another race. Giving time to gain more meaningful time ahead.
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